Yes… wait a minute… no.
So on the one hand I’ve recently meet some really neat people. Like really amazing neat people. And the timing of so much and the similarities and connection we have felt for one another has been… disturbingly serendipitous. I really want to dig around and figure out for certain the connections. I have some strong feelings about the matter and am attempting to take it all one piece at a time. I feel very strongly that there is a lot we can mutually support and assist one another with.

And I want everything to hurry up and get through what, at this point, feels like this quant but time worn initial procedural introduction process. Like we've done this before. Now can we acknowledge "it" and be done with it so we can get onto the rest of the work we need to be doing right now. Ah but procedure...

On the other, and despite all this really amazing stuff going on, there continues to be a background gloom permeating everything right now. All I can say is my heart can stop with this now. I’m done. It's accomplishing nothing and being a nuisance and distraction. And I could used it to be focused and have the energy for things that are actually within reach at this time. I would rather not have to resort to self experimentation to achieve this, thank you.

Also, my allergies have been totally kicking my ass this past week. My system is worn out, and I think I need to hole up somewhere soon. Sadly, this weekend is not the weekend to do so. And the flow of my room has been disrupted. I am annoyed, but there is little I can do. I mean is it not my house *shrug* The disruption of past few weeks has been frustrating. Again, I know I should be grateful and I am, but I will also be glad when I am in a space that I can more fully declare to some degree is mine.